Why Zack Is Never Allowed On The Internet Again
by Dannichigo
Summary: A list of Zack doing "To Do" Lists he found on the interenet with the help of Genesis, Reno, and Cloud. Inspired by QUEEN EEVEE's "Reason not to let Zack on one of the list sites". XD Rated M to be safe...


Why Zack is Never Allowed On the Internet Again

10 Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off

Lazard glanced back behind him to the corner over by the wall, starting to get a little freaked out. Maybe he should have a talk with Angeal again about Zack? Someone might have broken him this time…

Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you admiral

"Ah…" Said Sephiroth looking at the fidgeting blonde cadet before him. "I did not realize that there had been a promotion. Excuse me then adimiral."

Cloud trembled and nearly fainted from the amount of blood rushing to his cheeks. Once he rescued his poor stuffed chocobo he was going to kill Zack…

MEOW occasionally

Hojo watched the small cadet interestedly as another small meow came from the back before Zack, Angeal's apprentice that he wasn't allowed to touch came rushing in and grabbed the cadet and dragged him out. He made a mental note to find the cadet later…

Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of them." –and back away slowly.

Genesis twitched as Angeal's puppy kept staring at him without saying anything.

"You're one of them!"

Twitch.

Screw that, he was going to kill him. He gripped Rapier's handle from the rarely used magnet on his back and turned to face the puppy as the doors slid shut…

Say "DING" at each floor.

"Ding."

Tseng twitched.

"Ding."

Twitch.

"Ding."

How many floors did he have to go? Oh yeah, he was on the fourteenth floor and he needed to go to the 70th floor…

"Ding."

"Reno… Do that one more time and I'm going to dock your pay…"

Make explosion noises when someone presses a button

"Boom!"

Lazard jumped and dropped all the important document in his arms just after he had pushed the button for his office's floor.

Snickering came behind him in the form of a cadet, a second class SOLDIER, and a Turk.

Scarlet walked on next and pushed her floor's button.

"Boom!"

She jumped and one of her stiletto heel's snapped.

Outright laughter broke out now.

"Zack… I'm going to talk to Angeal again. Reno… I'm going to talk to Tseng about this… And Cadet… If you want to get into SOLDIER…"

He left it hanging but he could see in the reflection Zack and Reno looked properly horrified but the poor cadet who probably got roped into this looked like he was going to cry…

Great… Now he just felt bad…

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and then announce to the person "This is my personal space"

"This is my space!"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as Genesis drew a small square in chalk on the floor around him. Unfortunately, 'his' space was right in front of the doors…

Well, looks for another interesting sparring session later…

When there's only one other person in the elevator tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

Reeve looked around when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder but the only person he could see was Genesis in the corner reading LOVELESS again. A couple minutes later he felt another tap and looked around again still only seeing Genesis who looked like he couldn't have tapped him. Hmm… Strange… Another couple minutes later and he felt another tap and looked around again still only seeing Genesis who now appeared to be trying not to laugh… How on earth was he getting tapped with Genesis all the way on the other side of the elevator?

Genesis meanwhile was glad to have been able to get in on the fun with Zack, Reno, and that little cadet whose name he believes to be Cloud…

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's Mine!"

Angeal heard a clatter and saw Genesis' favorite pen on the floor. Seeing Genesis not moving to pick it up he bent down to get it only to jump when Genesis suddenly shouted;

"That's mine!"

Genesis snatched it up before he could finish getting back up from where he had fallen in shock. He glared at the red head only to get a cocky smirk in return.

A few minutes later Lazard got on and with another clatter Genesis' pen fell again.

"That's mine!"

This was going to be a long ride…

Call out a "Group hug!" then enforce it.

Zack smirked after he counted how many people were on the elevator. Great! They were also all people he, Reno, and Kunsel had gotten black mail on. He cackled evilly in his mind when he spotted Hedeigger, Scarlet, and Hojo in the middle of the group. Perfect…

Meeting Reno's and Genesis' eyes along with the helmeted Kunsel's he nodded and called out;

"Group hug!"

Moving quickly, the four of them got everyone to hug after flashing their blackmail when only the protesting person could see it.

He cackled evilly as everyone got off before their stops when a small sniffeling caught sound caught his attention. There sitting on the floor looking ruffled was Cloud clutching his arm.

"What's wrong?!" He exclaimed as they all felt immediately bad when they caught a full blast of Cloud's 'drowned kitten' look.

"I was in the middle of Scarlet, Hedeigger, and Hojo!" He wailed as the others all paled…


End file.
